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Okay, okay I get the message. Ladeeleroy just got fired for updating at work. I wonder if it was the fact that she updated from work or was it the content? In any case, this is terrible news. I suppose I will have to be careful. So should you. You could probably ve fired just for being here if you're at work. *********************************** On Friday, Suj and I went to the museum and hung with Krystal and her boyfriend, Colin while watching lacrosse. Lacrosse is amazing! The shit that these guys pull with those...things they wield is incredible. Better than hockey. Crosschecking is legal. Afterwards we went to Grumpy's as usual for a pint before Suj went off to meet a brand new lady friend. Oonagh the bar wench (I know that sounds insulting but she would probably describe herself that way and laugh about it) told that we had to return the following day because there was this incredible band playing for Robert Burns Day and the place would be packed. You wouldn't know it to look at her, but apparently she is one of the city's best basketball coaches. After Suj left I was chatting with Oonagh and one of her prot�g�s, a young girl called Pat. (Young girl. She's 21 on Wednesday. Christ.) I worry about Oonagh. She smokes all the time, but I had no idea how much she smokes. In 24 hours she smoked 6 packs. That is absolutely fucked. And she says that she is quitting February 1. Good fucking luck. The next day, Saab and I met up with Suj and his new lady friend, again at Grumpy's. We recognized each other immediately. Turns out, she went to McGill and hung out in the same circles as me. I used to have a big crush on her. She's fucking beautiful. She looks like Penelope Cruz, but better looking. 5'1", 103 pounds. Probably a size 1, if that. I used to make a point of talking to her whenever I saw her. She probably thought I was the biggest nimrod in Burnside Hall. She is funny, likes the Simpsons and similar things, sex, beer, pretty much everything the three of us value. It's like she's the perfect woman. As it turns out, she is half-Indian and half-European. Suj has dated Indian girls before, and he is very wary of them. They're too "Indian". They are sexually prudish, insist on marriage and those types of things, and a bunch of other things that I can't recall. But not this lady friend. She has the great properties of Indian women with none of the drawbacks. We came up with a nickname for her: Daywalker. You need to see "Blade" to get that reference. Shortly after we got there, about ten kids from Vermont and Connecticut. This girls were dressed for clubbing (and therefore were in the wrong place) and the boys were dressed like date rapists. Russ the HUGE and coolest pub manager ever started talking to them, since they obviously weren't regulars and spoke like Americans. Russ: "So where do you go to school?" I'm thinking (and so was Russ): "We're in fucking Montreal! What the fuck is CCSU??" Russ: What the fuck is CCSU? I turned to Suj and his lady friend and laughed, "He goes to a STATE SCHOOL!!" We all laughed, not because he goes to a state school, but because state schools have been ridiculed by most of my American friends as well as by American TV shows. I don't know what is so ridiculous about them, but I know that you're supposed to laugh at anyone going to one of those schools. After buying about $60 worth of drinks, they leave a toon (a toonie, or Canadian $2 coin) as a tip. Then Russ launches into a speech. Russ: All right, so I know you guys aren't from here; here's how things arr around here. Tips are a standard 15%. It's customary for people to leave 15% gratuity on top of their bill. If you don't want to, that's cool, but I won't serve you anymore. Again, that's 15%. Cool. I heard Date Roaist #1 say to Date Rapist #2: "This place sucks. If I and my friends were assholes and brutes, we would have casually kicked the shit out of those kids, those pieces of shit. Coming in there, disrespecting the place. Pieces of punk-ass shit. For Robbie Burns Day, Russ dressed up in a kilt and hired a piper to play. Graham is the best bagpipes player I have ever seen. The band was the Polyjesters. It was only the two brothers, Sheldon and Jason Valleau, that night. It was a ukelele, and stand-up bass and two voices. They are unbelievable. I bought a CD and everything. They are so hardcore that when the pipes started playing, they joined in! It was like a remix of traditional Scottish tunes that everyone knows. They are so hardcore that they drummed the bass like it was a set of bongos. So hardcore, that Sheldon was actually rubbing the bass hard enough that it was making scratching sounds like old school DJs do. Simply excellent. I hung out with Sheldon after the show. Great guy. I'm going back tomorrow for Oonagh's sister's (Siobhan) birthday. I have seen Suj with many girlfriends and lady friends. I have never seen him act like he did last night. Firstly, he usually leaves a little earlier than everyone else, especially when he is with some woman. But he closed the place with Saab and I. Secondly, he couldn't keep his hands off her. It was reciprocated, mind you, but I have never seen him show anywhere close to that about of intimacy in public. They weren't making out in front of us or anything like that, but they were always touching. I mentioned to him that he was acting very differently with her than with others. She said that he knows he is. I have to call him today to get the deets. I finally got home at six this morning. Another great night. 0 scrawls at the end of this hallThe look: The feel: The taste: ________________________ |
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