Read this disclaimer first!!
Thursday, Jun. 05, 2003 - 3:08 p.m.
Cancer

Imagine a person with terminal cancer.

They've been on chemo for almost four years. Hair is falling out in patches. Daily pain. The remissions are few and fleeting. They become a shadow of their former selves. And towards the end, they lose the will to go on. The war ends with the bittersweet release of death. No more pain. A new journey into the afterlife.

At 3 pm on Tuesday, June 3, I was called into an open office at work and told that my position was being terminated due to lack of business. I was out of a job, laid off. Released. And I wasn't the only one. About 15% of the staff lost their jobs that day, including one that has been with the company since almost the beginning. She was holding back tears as she left. I think she'll be okay, though. There are officially no more women working there except for the receptionist and one consultant.

I took it very well. The severance package wasn't great, but it should last me until the end of July hopefully. But more importantly, I, like the cancer patient, am free.

It was quite bad at the end. I took last Friday off because I could not deal with going back there again. I also got home really late and couldn't sleep either. Pretending I had a sprained knee, I sat around doing practically nothing all day.

Sweet release. Tuesday night after a game which we won 15-8, Saab, Frank (team member) and I went to a bar for some drinks (since I didn't have to get up in the morning). Suj called me and asked to join. He's been in NYC for the entire month of May, and didn't know what had happened to his friends in Montreal. We filled him in.

Yesterday was the first full day of joblessness. It was great. Saab is also jobless, having been fired by an asshole in May. Deb got a new job, being totally sick of her position before. Saab had a breakfast date with Deb, and Suj I decided to surprise her with the news that he was back in town and I had no job. It was a very good breakfast at a very good greasy spoon. $2.50 will get you bacon/sausage, eggs, toast and coffee/tea. We had a discussion on our culture and the insidiousness of certain elements of it. Good times.

Deb went off to work, while the Benetton Boys (me, Saab and Suj) took a walk in Outremont, grabbing some ice cream from Le Bilboquet. After about another hour walking around we finally parted ways. I spent the rest of the day pretty much doing nothing, just like today. I don't plan on doing anything until next week when I receive my proof of employment for employment insurance.

I asked Sylvie, my now ex-boss, how he felt about these layoffs. He said that he was very unhappy about it. The directors have all taken a 15% pay cut (since January) and this is confirmation that this is not going away soon. He said that he was very sad to see me go, in particular. It's going to be very quiet now. No, this isn't good at all.

When I went to say goodbye to the VP of Technology, he asked me to shut the door. He sat me down, and said the nicest things about me that anyone has said in a while. He said that if I ever needed a reference, he would drive to the company himself and deliver that reference. I am tempted to hold him to that. He was probably my favourite person in that company.

One person who got the axe that I never got the chance to talk to was the SA (systems administrator). I was told that she didn't take it too well. I don't blame her. She doesn't have the qualifications on paper to be doing what she is doing. It was almost a charity case. She took eight months off last year for mental health reasons. In that time she was replaced with someone who is far superior to her in terms of skill and knowledge. He was reassigned to other (better) work when she came back, but they decided to keep him rather than her. I don't know what she'll do. It was a tough blow for her.

As I left I said goodbye to the ladies at Warner Brothers who used to give me free movie tickets. Nina was close to tears. That was very sweet of her.

And Andrea. She was the first person I really spoke to in the building that didn't work at my company. It was nice that she was the last person I spoke to as I was leaving. I once said, months after we broke up, that if one of us were to leave our job, that we probably wouldn't see each other again. I guess I'll find out if that is true or not.

I have moved on to the working afterlife. While in Outremont, I noticed that the word "job" leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. It almost sounds like a disease, like cancer, Something that would make you feel much better if it were removed.

"Doctor, I...I have a job."
"Dear God, man! What have you been doing to get one of those? Are you dependent on it?"
"Yes, I'm afraid I am."
"Damnit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a...oh, sorry."

I could do just about anything now. I might work at a marina, with the Montreal Rowing Club. I might do odd jobs, or tutor math. I might even move. Who knows? Today, the future is wide open.

The important thing is that I am no longer suffering from job cancer.

1 scrawls at the end of this hall

The look: liberated
The feel: relaxed
The taste: sweet and cheesy. The pie was delicious.
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