Read this disclaimer first!!
Thursday, May. 15, 2003 - 1:16 p.m.
Hearing Restored

I can finally hear!

I have an overactive earwax production problem. No, you can't see it, but every few months I have some hearing loss as a result. Usually the left is worse than the right.

I went in January to get this excess wax removed, but it was so deep and dry that it was unsuccessful on the left side. I finally couldn't take it anymore so I started applying oil to the ears at night in the past couple of days. It must have helped.

The annoying thing is that it took all morning to get the wax removed. I KNEW what the problem was. But you have to have a doctor examine you. It was a busy day, and so it took all morning just to see a doctor. When I finally did, he told me exactly what I already knew: both ears were blocked, the left worse than the right.

There are always two nurses present during the procedure. One actually does the work, while the other looks on, gasps and comments. The second nurse was the same second nurse as last time. She recognized me as I did her. (As I did recognize her, you pervs.) The first nurse takes a tiny basin of water and draws it into a really big metallic syringe. I was given a receptacle for the water to hold up by my ear. The end of the syringe is small enough to get right into your brain almost. And she pushes the water in forcefully. It isn't as uncomfortable as it sounds. It's quite nice, especially if the water is the right temperature, and especially if you know that relief is right around the corner.

The right ear was done first. It worked on the first try. This ear wasn't so bad: no hearing loss, just lots of wax. It all came out in a few large brown chunks. But the left ear...This is where it gets a little graphic.

They really didn't think that there was going to be much success, and neither did I. But the first couple of shots brought out so much wax! I saw the results: it looked like diarrhea in a toilet, just scaled down and without the smell. She emptied the receptacle.

Again the syringe went in, and again the same result, only worse. There was even more. She examined my ear and there was still more to go. In total, there were four receptacles of wax. The nurse had never seen anything like it before.

Now I just have to get rid of the water in my ears and my hearing will be restored completely.

0 scrawls at the end of this hall

The look: relieved
The feel: dazed
The taste: watery
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