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Friday, May. 23, 2003 - 9:06 a.m.
Vigilante Justice

Yesterday's entry of the day goes to Amanda.

Word of sexual abuse by an uncle to a nephew spread across a small community. The man was lynched. This happened not far from here.

I can't help but feel for the man in this case. Does this make me a bad person? Some would say yes. The reason is that someday, someone, for whatever reason, might accuse me of doing something terrible, something I didn't do. It is always in the back of my mind, actually. I always feel as though I could be pleading for my life at any time, pleading true innocence when everyone "knows" I'm guilty.

I see myself in a dark courtroom sitting alone in a mahogany bench. The mood is...rainy...like a late-night sombre rain. So dark. I can't see any faces, but there are so many accusing eyes.

I didn't do the crime. I know I am innocent. I can see myself talking, usually, but I can't hear what I am saying. It seems representative of the fact that no one is hearing me, or listening. I wonder if abuse victims feel that way, too.

The man in the scenario is probably guilty, but "probably" isn't good enough for me to convict. If the boy was abused and authorities alerted, then that should have been the end of it. The fact is, I have absolutely no idea what did or didn't happen. Let the authorities deal with the man. Mobs aren't any better than the authorities at dispensing justice anyway.

Can you as a vigilante tell me that your justice is actually just? I mean, they went out and stabbed a guy. They willfully decided as a group that this man deserved...something (I'm surprised they didn't kill him) because they KNOW exactly what happened between he and the little boy.

I know that sexual abuse is terrible (but only because I have an imagination, and that I have been told through 80s talk shows how bad it is, but the truth is, I'll never know how bad it is), but I just don't believe that mob justice is the way to go. "Probably" isn't good enough. If he's guilty, which seems pretty likely on the surface, then I hope he gets a stiff sentence in a maximum security prison. But if he is innocent, I hope he gets everyone he can for as much as he can. If I were treated that way as an innocent man, I don't know that I wouldn't become a vigilante myself.

1 scrawls at the end of this hall

The look: uneasy
The feel: worried
The taste: sweet, pastry sweet
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