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Saturday, Jun. 21, 2003 - 9:19 a.m.
Creative Swearing

Remember when swearing was a really big deal?

I never swore. Not once until Grade 6. In Grade 6, things started to change a little. Certain pressures were there that weren't before. In particular, I actually had competition in class for the highest marks. All these smart kids entered the school that year in my grade, in my class.

Socially, things were different, too. There were more instances of people making out, going out, breaking up and cracking up.

There was one girl, JD, who was rich, pretty, sweet (as in, adored by the teachers) and just as smart as me. I hated her. She was my biggest threat to my little house of domination. But more on that in another entry.

My friend Scott had found out something that she said that I desperately needed to know. It may have been about me, but whatever it was, I was sure I could somehow use it against her. (Was I thinking like a girl then?) But he wouldn't tell me. So as we were going back into class from recess, I blurt out, "WHAT THE HELL DID SHE SAY??" Luckily there were no teachers around.

From then, swear words gradually became a larger and larger part of my vocabulary. I barely think about it anymore, although I still know how to curb those tendencies when necessary. But swearing can get monotonous and boring over time. I remember the first time I heard "Holy shit". Of course I thought it was blasphemous, yet funny. I bet people laughed heartily (on the inside, or when alone) whenever they heard or thought of that expression. Last October, I said "Holy fuck!" to Crystal, and she nearly pissed herself laughing. She had never neard the expression before. I say it all the time. So do my friends, and we don't even bat an eye. I think people are starting to be more creative about their cursing, and that's a good thing. One that I use regularly is "What in the name of holy flying fuck...?" or some variation thereof. Here is a list of some others that I like:

1. Holy mother of fuck.
2. Jesus Murphy! (popular around here)
3. Jesus Holy fucking Christ!
4. Holy fucking fuck!

Let's get creative!

• Great balls of fuck!
• Holy fuckballs!
• Eat my fuck.
• Fuckles! (I forget what these are. Liz?)
• Holy flying shitfucks!
• Whatever you say, Fucky McFuckhead!

There's got to be more. I'll add 'em as I come up with 'em.

4 scrawls at the end of this hall

The look: jovial
The feel: blank
The taste: Toaster Strudels
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