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Please note the "Porn Titles and Band Names" link at the bottom of the left sidebar. Please add to it in my guestbuch. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Earlier this week, a Calgary-area father killed his 2-year-old son and himself in a murder-suicide, after calling the mother to say he "wasn't going to do this anymore" - referring to limited visitation, and a court order keeping him away from her. I read about this in a forum that I frequent. Have you ever felt that we are being very ineffective people? It occurred to me when I read the title on one of these responses titled "I'm crying so hard". Crying so hard, eh? I mean, really, we can hear these stories and feel bad, "cry so hard" and so on. But then, what? We just go on like nothing ever happened, meanwhile it happens again and again. But I am willing to guess that we don't DO anything about it for the most part. Joy, a well-known poster there who is dealing with her own problems right now, works with abused and battered women on a day-to-day basis. At least is out there doing something about it, but without further information, I am under the impression that she is only dealing with half the problem if that. What is being done about this sort of thing? If the men are the perpetrators, then shouldn't we be trying to reach them? Women's shelters deal with the problem after that fact. That's simply not enough. I think the National Fatherhood Initiative may be one of those things that tries to help boys and men with control, anger, and all kinds of emotions. I could be wrong, though, and am thinking of another organization. So what am I going to do? What are YOU going to do? Are women just victims? Maybe Joy can answer this. I constantly see women portrayed as victims. Victims, victims, victims. I think that women are victimized in many ways by men, women, everyone. (So are men.) But the portrayal...reinforced images of women as victims and men as evil abusers. I am sick of it. I also get the impression that it is a female problem. That is, they're the ones getting battered physically and emotionally, so it's their problem to fight. Wrong. It's everyone's problem, so the solution must come from everyone as well. Why do committees and task forces that try to address and combat these problems consist mainly of women? It doesn't make any sense! Men should be there, too, because some men have the problem. I wish people would realize that. It's not about me wanting men to control things, it's about men taking some responsibility (we have a problem within our ranks; let's work to solve it). But so many men don't realize that it is that much of a problem. The more I think about this the worse I feel. I think that this man was sick in the head. Don't get me wrong; I would have no problem condemning him to jail or hell if I could, but I can't help but think that if someone had gotten to him sooner this all could have been avoided. Every time I hear of one of these things, I can almost feel women retreating from men just a little bit. Let's face it: when a man does something like this, it makes all men look like potential abusers, if only for a moment. Of course, I am assuming that Joy's speculation that he was already an abuser was correct. These crimes affect everyone. Everyone. And we should ALL be included in finding a solution. We should include ourselves. Every time this happens I take it personally, because some dickhead made life a little less enjoyable for me. Women have to take care of themselves, I know, I know. But when a woman goes out of her way to avoid me because I am male, or worse yet, a BLACK male, I sometimes get frustrated or even a little pissed off. Just so everyone knows: I WON'T HURT YOU. Some have a problem with men's organizations. They think that they exist solely to take back power because men should have all the power. Although I do believe that some such organizations are like that, I think that's bullshit for a couple of reasons, but that will be for some other entry. I think that most of these men's organizations should at least try to work with women's organizations to kill this very problem. In fact, that should be the sole reason for some of these groups to exist. If these things never happened, think how much closer we would all be as men and women! You know what? My ideal world would be one in which men and women are so equal that they can have relationships like the ones they had in Starship Troopers. Remember the co-ed shower scene? I thought that was amazing. Another thing: I truly get the impression that no one really cares what is going on in our minds as men unless we are making money or war. That has to stop, too. There's a whole spiritual component involved that I won't get into here, but to conclude I would like to express my anger and disgust over not only what happened in that family and countless others, but in our ineffective patches and solutions. I admit that I have no grand ideas yet, but I'm thinking. Hopefully we'll actually be able to do something, and soon. 0 scrawls at the end of this hallThe look: The feel: The taste: ________________________ |
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