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I saw The Two Towers last night, opening night. I will never, ever, watch another movie like that again with someone who 1) will not appreciate such a film and are utterly dismissive of the whole genre; 2) can't keep their criticisms to themselves until the end or; 3) won't shut the fuck up throughout the movie. Of course, I'm talking about most women, and maybe a few men. I went with Deb, Steph and her fianc�, Jade. (Jade is male.) Deb had a large part in ruining the movie-going experience for me. Throughout she would call out things like "What-EVERR!" or make disparaging comments about the whole thing. Which is odd because she read and liked the books. For some reason, the women (that I was with) thought that it was odd that it would be a three-hour movie. Like they were expecting 90 minutes or something for Lord of the Fucking Rings. I was just trying to enjoy and appreciate the visual effects, the slightly altered storyline and the acting. But no, I had to go with two hecklers. I am a bit sensitive today, I know. I wanted to walk out of there feeling good about what I had just seen. I wanted to bask in the 'just watched' feel of an epic movie. There's plenty of time to criticise later, like today. But I'm still pissed at them for knocking everything down WHILE I WAS WATCHING IT. In the days leading up to it I noticed the completely different reactions about the trilogy in men and women. Women were dismissive, saying that it was "not real" enough. Too many computer-enhanced whatchamacallits. They wanted more real people. They probably wanted more real Nazgul, too. Here's a gut reaction to that: FUCK REAL! FUCK THAT FUCKING SHIT! FUCK IT! I WORK IN A FUCKING CUBE ALL FUCKING DAY! I GET PAID SHIT! I DON'T LIKE MY FUCKING JOB VERY MUCH. I AM FUCKING BROKE. I WANT TO INDULGE IN THE BEST FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING SHIT I CAN FIND, AND RIGHT NOW THIS IS IT. FUCK YOU AND YOUR REALITY SHIT. I DON'T WANT IT RIGHT NOW. YOU GO TO HELL. YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE YOU ARROGANT FUCKS. (That's a slightly altered South Park quote.-Ed.) JUST FUCK RIGHT OFF. I LIKE WATCHING ARAGORN AND ORCS AND WIZARDS AND SO ON. I LIKE IT. IF YOU DON'T, FINE. FUCK RIGHT OFF. JUST GO FUCK OFF. I am not talking about the few (but increasing number of) women who are enthusiastic about this genre, really. The ones that accompany boyfriends because THEY are into it should probably stay home, in my opinion. They'll probably just ruin it for the guy. (I don't see this happening the other way, for various reasons.-Ed.) There's something: a guy wants to see this movie with his buddies because he knows it will be more fun for him. He has strong reason to believe that his girlfriend won't really enjoy it much and therefore doesn't want to see it with her. But then she asks to come to the movie so that she can 1) see what the fuss is about or 2) spend some time with him. He really doesn't want her to go with him, at least not on opening night. How does he tell his girlfriend? Unless she's particularly cool (or is that, 'mature'?) his honesty will cause problems no matter how he tells her. Anyway, the men I observed who were into it were quietly anticipating the movie eagerly, and that's about it. The ones who weren't into it (which were few, I admit, I do work at a tech company after all) were quietly neutral about it. But they weren't dismissive. I don't even mind the dismissiveness, usually. I'm dismissive sometimes. But this really bothered me this past week for some reason. Like I said, I've been pretty sensitive lately, especially since Tuesday morning. Before meeting Crystal, I didn't even know the word "sensitive", or at least I didn't realize that it could apply to me. A few people have expressed to me recently that they are feeling sensitive and wish that people would take care of them for even just a little while. Part of me was thinking, "I could do that. I'm not bad at it, really." Another part thought, "Shouldn't you take care of yourself? I have to." This morning I was thinking, "I want someone to take care of me, just for a few days. I'm sensitive right now, so please cut me a little slack, ease off certain things, pick up the slack in others and I'll feel fine." I invited Deb to the Christmas party, and therefore I will "take care" of her. After all, she knows no one. I expressed to *A* this morning how I am feeling and that I want the party to be "all about me", just once. I want to be taken care of, or at least I want her to think a little bit about me when she opens her mouth. Or I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. You know what she told me? She told me to...well she used an expression that I hate so much that I wouldn't use it on an enemy. It's not a hateful expression, in fact it's pretty benign. No one really knows that I don't like the expression, and they definitely don't know how much I hate it. To me, it's incredibly distasteful in its dismissiveness. There it is again: dismissiveness. I almost started yelling at her. Her boss actually came out to investigate. She have me advice and it is probably good advice, although I don't know how well I can follow it. Hell, I have given that very advice to her in the past. I guess the timing was bad. Jesus, I probably made her feel as bad as I feel now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's sick that I should only understand what the problem someone may have had with something I did/said when it gets done/said to me under stressful circumstances. That's sad; it means I can't or am unwilling to empathize. I hate the lack of empathy. For some reason, the expression comes to mind: "We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are." 0 scrawls at the end of this hallThe look: The feel: The taste: ________________________ |
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