Read this disclaimer first!!
Wednesday, Mar. 26, 2003 - 11:29 a.m.
C�line Dion

C�line Dion fans are plenty. There are a lot of them. You know there are because she sells a lot of records and shows. I don't know if you are aware or this, but she has a three-year contract in Vegas for $100 million to do her thing. $100 MILLION.

But I've never met a C.D. fan in my life. Not a single person has ever said to me that they even come close to liking her or her stuff. I just found out that my boss' sister just flew down with her boyfriend to see her in Vegas for opening night. I've met this woman before. I can't believe I've actually met one of her fans. That's strange enough.

Back to the $100 million: I just got a statement from Revenue Quebec detailing my earning since coming here in 1992. I'll have to check, but I think it has taken me about 8 years to earn 0.1% of what she's getting over three years. In other words, at that rate, I'd have to work for 80 years to get a percent of that, or 80 000 years to earn that much money. That's 8 times the length of time mankind started agriculture to where we are now in civilization. More than 3000 generations. If I were from Burundi, it would take at least 8 million years, much longer than mankind has existed. Let's not even begin to talk about Bill Gates.

I'm having one of those "what the hell am I doing here" moments, I guess.

3 scrawls at the end of this hall

The look: a little dismayed
The feel: frustrated
The taste: nothing very good
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Wednesday, Mar. 26, 2003 - 9:06 a.m.
I don't like Neil

Two nights ago I had a dream in which I was at some important soir�e, maybe at 24 Sussex Drive (Prime Minister's residence) in Ottawa. The attendees were employees from work. I was just exploring the place when I came upon some classified documents that I clearly shouldn't have been reading. One was a report from my boss to his boss. It said:

"JonasParker...should probably be let go...has missed 5.4 days out of the last 90, and hasn't been doing well.

I've had some interviews and I am really excited about Neil."

Fuckin' Neil. Fuck. But I had this information, and I had to use it somehow. Unfortunately, I can't remember if I ever did use it to save my ass or fry his.

I wasn't particularly upset or worried, though.

0 scrawls at the end of this hall

The look: eh, whateva
The feel: red
The taste: bittersweet, but not too strongly of either
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